'Childhood' story:
The last time I saw my father
The last time I saw my father
January '70 my Opening at Reese-Paley in SF
He drives from Carmel Valley drunk
Looks around
Cries
Drives home drunk.
I hear:
She had a really nice day ... walked around ...
She had a really nice day ... walked around ...
Edith .Thacher .Dane
1913 - 2002
OVS-KBS-Vassar, BA Science, then:
(beloved-uncle-yale-doc-dick-preserver):
"Edith, you (woman) can't be a Doctor" !
So:
Teacher!
Primary Care Giver!
Lab Tech!
Social Activist!!
Justice Seeker Always!!!
Do Your Best - Give Back.
Thank You .Mom ..Love .Bill
And this is only the ending:
The Tell-Tale-Son:
All of a sudden Edie
decided to leave Sierra Madre.
Within three months She, Nancy, Frank and I had
found Willow Glen Villa in San Jose, sold the house,
packed her up, and physically moved everything.
It took two extra trips in my wagon to bring all her plants.
We photographed Mom's living room, (etc) so we could
carefully reconstruct her 7' x 12' display shelves -
a collection of objects: travels, gifts, oddities -
in her new, one bedroom apartment. Frank rebuilt it again
in her 'assisted living' apartment.
Then again when we moved Mom to Nancy's.
Her favorite "stuff" went with her, as it had since childhood.
'Hospice Week' at Nancy's house Mom lived in her room
surrounded with 'furnishings' which had been within
feet of her self, as far back as we could remember.Edie died very quietly right there with.
It was just getting dark June 23rd 2002
Edie's Last Days:
I take Mom to Kaiser for "Evaluation".
She moves around - reality wise - not too far out.
Her Doctor, sweet voice for seniors I gather,"Hello Mrs. Dane. Can you tell me who you are ?"
Edie, in her most cultured tone with tightened jaw,"You know perfectly well who I am, and so do I."
I take Mom to Kaiser for "Evaluation".
She moves around - reality wise - not too far out.
Her Doctor, sweet voice for seniors I gather,"Hello Mrs. Dane. Can you tell me who you are ?"
Edie, in her most cultured tone with tightened jaw,"You know perfectly well who I am, and so do I."
Edie's Last Days:
Mom has a double room at Kaiser.
Curtain, and older couple's voices, next bed over.
They've been arguing about the wife going home, etc !
Edie is in and out - stream of consciousness mumblings.
(It was always entertaining and cried out for 'sense making')
She suddenly sits shot up straight, and in loud and no uncertain terms,"For God's sake take her home.
Can't you see she wants to go home"
Mom has a double room at Kaiser.
Curtain, and older couple's voices, next bed over.
They've been arguing about the wife going home, etc !
Edie is in and out - stream of consciousness mumblings.
(It was always entertaining and cried out for 'sense making')
She suddenly sits shot up straight, and in loud and no uncertain terms,"For God's sake take her home.
Can't you see she wants to go home"
Edie's Last Days:
Mom has been at Kaiser for 10 days.
Today is "Decision Day". Edie has to move on.
Her Doctors must recommend her next placement.
They've tried Meds and Talk and Scans = fuzzy picture !
Her Doctors want Kaiser to pay for her to go to Rehab.
She must pass a "Mobility Exam" - Mind and Body !
In comes the 'brand new', really young, testing "Therapist".
Sweetest high voice, for elders I gather, "Good morning Edie.
Now, You have to do what I ask so you'll get that wonderful new
placement. Let's sit up. Up we go, Edie. Now let's just swing
your legs over the edge of the bed. Here we go. Try to do it all
by yourself, Edie". At this point Mom grasps her arm tight.
In a perfectly articulated, tight jawed, patrician tone,"You may try to get me to do anything you want, Dear.
It will not work. I died at ten o'clock this morning".
Mom has been at Kaiser for 10 days.
Today is "Decision Day". Edie has to move on.
Her Doctors must recommend her next placement.
They've tried Meds and Talk and Scans = fuzzy picture !
Her Doctors want Kaiser to pay for her to go to Rehab.
She must pass a "Mobility Exam" - Mind and Body !
In comes the 'brand new', really young, testing "Therapist".
Sweetest high voice, for elders I gather, "Good morning Edie.
Now, You have to do what I ask so you'll get that wonderful new
placement. Let's sit up. Up we go, Edie. Now let's just swing
your legs over the edge of the bed. Here we go. Try to do it all
by yourself, Edie". At this point Mom grasps her arm tight.
In a perfectly articulated, tight jawed, patrician tone,"You may try to get me to do anything you want, Dear.
It will not work. I died at ten o'clock this morning".
2010 Health Care:
Screaming - pointing - swearing - spitting into Other faces;
Fellow citizens who themselves would suffer without Medicare and
the other patched together Government Health Care they're trashing.
Never mind their bibles and 'right-to-certain-kinds-of-life' stuff.
Screaming - pointing - swearing - spitting into Other faces;
Fellow citizens who themselves would suffer without Medicare and
the other patched together Government Health Care they're trashing.
Never mind their bibles and 'right-to-certain-kinds-of-life' stuff.
I hear:
Please hang on !
Please hang on !
Childhood-Story:
1964 Not working
We have jobs at SKS Die Casting.
Black, Willie Goodjoint, 63, my casting machine leader.
Black, William Jones, 25, factory custodian.
White, Bill Dane, 25, grunt n gofer.
We eat lunch and talk together for 3 months.
Brown-bag sitting on 4th Street.
Luckily, Willie keeps his job.
William and I are laid off.
We visit each other's apartments twice.
In downtown Oakland with a wife and two daughters.
In Richmond with a wife and a painting space.
We're both smart enough. . We use our words.
We can feel what's coming. . We're not super-stars.
1964 Not working
We have jobs at SKS Die Casting.
Black, Willie Goodjoint, 63, my casting machine leader.
Black, William Jones, 25, factory custodian.
White, Bill Dane, 25, grunt n gofer.
We eat lunch and talk together for 3 months.
Brown-bag sitting on 4th Street.
Luckily, Willie keeps his job.
William and I are laid off.
We visit each other's apartments twice.
In downtown Oakland with a wife and two daughters.
In Richmond with a wife and a painting space.
We're both smart enough. . We use our words.
We can feel what's coming. . We're not super-stars.
Childhood-Story:
1944 1st grade Mrs. Marchand
Perfect rows. Facing teacher, I'm far right in back.
Raise my hand to go to the bathroom. "Not now, Billy".
Three more times, "Not now, Billy !""Not Now, Billy !!""NOT NOW, BILLY !!!"
I feel the warm running over my legs. Wet pants. Big puddle.
I leave the room.. Can't remember coming back.
I read Janet's "Staircase of Roots" again
suspended reality and wrote this:
She greets Ess, "Sweetheart"all the time
I feel a mixed thing
jealous..good . fun
"Sweetheart", I text Nancy
why not sooner
Standing right here with Her
"Sweetheart", I try out loud
once . in fun
suspended reality and wrote this:
She greets Ess, "Sweetheart"all the time
I feel a mixed thing
jealous..good . fun
"Sweetheart", I text Nancy
why not sooner
Standing right here with Her
"Sweetheart", I try out loud
once . in fun
Childhood-Story:
1950s "Don't pooh-pooh The Groo"From the daily back n forth of our '50s 'crew'.
I don't remember anyone ever identifying"The Groo".
1950s "Don't pooh-pooh The Groo"From the daily back n forth of our '50s 'crew'.
I don't remember anyone ever identifying"The Groo".
BILL MOYERS JOURNAL
Derivatives, etc ...
We're cooked pawns
Derivatives, etc ...
We're cooked pawns
I hear:
... you're gonna need a bucket an' a mop ...
... you're gonna need a bucket an' a mop ...
Childhood-Story:
1947
Donnie Goode eats worms.
Once, I ask him to do it.
He does. . I'm heart-sick. . Never again.
POETRY
Janet Winans' book
"STAIRCASE OF ROOTS"
Off The Grid Press
My cover
Janet Winans' book
"STAIRCASE OF ROOTS"
Off The Grid Press
My cover